September 19, 2011
This evening I was sitting around the living room with my husband and the youngest 6 children. I looked at each one of them and thought back to their labors and deliveries. Sure, each one was painful, but brought about the same result - a glorious new little baby! I had survived each one and I will get through this labor as well I assured myself. I have been praying that not only would I not be fearful or afraid of this delivery, but that I would be excited and looking forward to this birth with anticipation. I am struggling with that a little.
As I closed my eyes and rested my head on the back of the couch, I was thinking about a dream I had a few weeks back. In this dream I was holding my new baby and experienced the rush of emotions that come along with holding him/her for the first time. Those same physical feelings of hormones, adrenaline and bliss washed over me again as I relived this dream, accompanied by the feel of the baby's skin against my face and lips as I kissed him/her for the first time, the smell of the skin of my new baby, the sweet sounds that newborn babies make, the little movements, the little hands and I found myself longing to go through labor to feel all of those beautiful things again. What a glorious gift!
God knows just exactly what we need and exactly when we need it to be encouraged in the work that we are doing. So many people think that I must have things easy by now with my 12th baby. Some babies have been easier to deliver than others but they by no means get easier just because they are number 11 or number 12. Each labor and delivery is so very different and rather indicative of the personality of each child. The experience is as much theirs as it is mine. We do it together. I can't wait to see what is in store this time around and to meet this special, new little one.
September 20, 2011
I was able to hold a 2 week old little baby today and I cried as I snuggled and swayed with this fresh little baby boy. It reminded me of God's goodness to me with the last 2 babies just days before their births. On both occasions God provided a new little baby for me to snuggle with to help remind me that the labor and delivery is all worth it, that any discomfort I will experience over the next few days is worth it.
I am overwhelmed by God's provisions in my life. They are everywhere around me. I only need to look beyond myself at the workings around me to see them. God is always good and always faithful.
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2 comments:
Amy-thanks for a wonderful and honest post! I agree! A favorite birthing moment-hearing the birdsong as the sun began to rise, knowing that transition was over, and it was time to push...feeling baby's head, and knowing that after 48 hours of labor, 37 weeks and 4 days of anticipation, I would get to meet our little person. Looking into baby's eyes for the first time, and both of us having that moment of recognition-"so THAT'S what you look like!"
Amy,
I remember the little bit of panic I felt when my labor started with Margaret and wondering how I could go through it again but after praying for God's peace I was immediately calmed and an hour later I was holding my beautiful little baby girl. I'll be praying for you and your little one.
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